Universal Truths

  • I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.  
  • Was learning cursive really necessary? 
  •  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 
  • Bad decisions make good stories.  
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.  
  • I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 
  • I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 
  • Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
  • How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?  
  • As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 
  • Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  
  • Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post