The emphasis on marriage among friends and family is stifling. I used to care like they did, and, then I woke up to the reality: I was looking at the journey as a destination. I cared way too much about the title, the status, the assumption that this is what generates the feelings, the love, the passion, and everything else. I became reliant on others for feelings I should've had for myself.
They didn't love themselves and they looked for me to do it for them. I didn't love myself, so, I expected them to love me in return for lavishing on them. A simple transaction...until they got their fill.
Now, I flirt freely, and I see so many women looking to find "the one" so they're not left out. So many options..Desperate options. It's funny-- When you stop caring you can smell the loneliness and lack of self-love. It's just there: readily apparent.
Years of memories, past relationships, and interactions suddenly made sense. Had I more self-respect, and self-interest, and discretion, I think I could've done a lot better.
Oh well...We live..We learn. We adapt. We conquer.
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